I can't stay here any longer. This isn't how I want to live my life and I'm not going to let my precious young adulthood pass me by. I need a huge goal--something crazy and infinitely satisfying that is also a solid plan for my future. I have nothing to lose here--my family will always stay right here, and if I do the same, I'll end up like my mom living with them until I'm old and wrinkled. I have to get out now. No one will really miss me. I can start brand new.
Things I need: Acceptance into a medical program. Financial support. A solid savings account for a car (buy down there) and half a year of rent. A sensible place to stay. A medical-oriented job. A healthy personal routine.
This is a specific goal and life plan that I am beginning to work on right now. It starts with daily workouts and healthy eating to help me survive this summer, and starting to stock up money in my bank account. Studying for organic chemistry more and finding out what requirements I need for the PA programs there.
It will all be worth it when I can present it to my parents and eventually step off that plane onto South Beach with a whole new life spread out in front of me. I can't feel guilty about leaving my mom because this is MY life... I know I'm her only one, but I can't just waste my life withering away in frigid New England. If she wanted to be surrounded by kids, she should have had more of them. I need to make my own opportunities and take any chance I've got. The beach, the city, continuing college, and the medical field... THAT'S what I want.
And I've never wanted anything this much.
